It’s easy to say that’s a defining moment. That’s an automatic walk to first plate, a “step right this way and skip the line…” and a golden ticket to the show.
No one is ever the same: family, friends, and most certainly not you. You house your soul inside the body that betrayed you. You’re stuck with it.
But it’s not just that moment, although it’s a precursor of moments to come:
- The involuntary twitch of your muscles, not knowing it signals the first hypoglycemic episode of many. Fear rises in time with the pounding in your ears. You will never be the same.
- Blurry blown out windows of your world after an eye dilation when the ophthalmologist gently shares news you never wanted to hear. You will never be the same.
- Dreams crashing to the ground the day you realize you will never become an Air Force pilot. You will never be the same.
- Your first arterial blood gas draw for possible DKA. You will never be the same.
- The callous comment of an uneducated medical professional, telling you that you will die earlier than you ever imagined. You will never be the same, even though you have been told otherwise.
- The ache of your body, your mind, your heart understanding that this disease is not just yours to hate as your husband holds you while you sob. You will never be the same.
- Hearing ignorance spouted around the corner when they think you’re out of reach, knowing that you could spend the rest of your life trying to change their mind. You will never be the same.
And then you realize that there isn’t a single defining moment when your life changes forever with diabetes.
It’s every moment.
Our lives are forever changing.
Our diabetes is forever changing.
I am learning to embrace these moments and I change with them. How many of these moments can you embrace?
- Supporting others through their own seminal diabetes moments online and in person. You will never be the same.
- Achieving a deeper understanding of how everything interacts with diabetes and managing the moving parts. You will never be the same.
- Loving the soul within the house that diabetes tries to break down. You will never be the same.
These can also be our diabetes defining moments.
All of them. All the time.
But it is important to remember this above all:
We change based on these defining moments, but they do not define who we are.
It is all right to never be the same.