While it may feel like I’ve gone radio silent these days, that’s not the case. It’s more like radio edit, à la Kid Rock.
Cuss like a sailor
Drink like a Mick
My only words of wisdom are just…
I’m flicking my Bic up and down that coast and
Keep on trucking until it falls in the ocean
– Kid Rock “Cowboy”
I’ve got lots going on, but you won’t hear about most of it, because it’s a bag of colorful expletives (I’m creative in my swearing!) and questions about when and how it’s all going to get accomplished. I’m trying to pencil life in between The Kid’s nighttime pronouncements (“Mommy! I love carrots!” “Awesome, sweetie. It’s 2am. I bet they love you, too. Come into bed and snuggle.”) and the blood sugar roller coaster I’ve been stuck on since the steroid shot for my shoulder. I want my money back. It’s a sucky ride. Most of this roller coaster had had me stuck up on the top of the precipice, rocking the seat back and forth, willing the car to drop. (Is the metaphor too much? No? Good.)
That’s what life is all about these days in my house. The CGM incessantly beeps, the test strips get haphazardly dropped on the floor, bread gets stuffed into a mouth without a bolus, toddlers careen around the house using DVDs as footwear, and we roll with it. I do spend a lot of time these days (and nights when I can’t sleep) taking deep breaths and trying to center myself in “the now”. (It’s hard when “the now” involves a small, naked shrieking child who won’t.go.to.bed.)
I have posts in my head that I can’t shake out. Plans to collaborate with good people on great things. Potty-training. (Her, not me.) It will all happen, but when my diabetes management and my life are not syncing, it’s tough. I want a time-out and someone to give me the words of wisdom I should hear. (And please, no platitudes. I abhor those. And those motivational posters? No. No. No.)
The weird take away from all of this? I’m happy in the chaos, because I’ve always found my greatest ideas come out of these moments. So, I keep on trucking. À la Kid Rock.
Life is messy and unruly. Always. Blood sugars are never perfect. Neither are we.
Diabetes is often a small, naked shrieking child who won’t.go.to.bed. And we just have to roll with it.
Would you like to know my words of wisdom right now that I can share? It’s…