Radio Edit

While it may feel like I’ve gone radio silent these days, that’s not the case. It’s more like radio edit, à la Kid Rock.

Cuss like a sailor

Drink like a Mick

My only words of wisdom are just…

::Radio edit::

I’m flicking my Bic up and down that coast and

Keep on trucking until it falls in the ocean

– Kid Rock “Cowboy”

1400144_98970976I’ve got lots going on, but you won’t hear about most of it, because it’s a bag of colorful expletives (I’m creative in my swearing!) and questions about when and how it’s all going to get accomplished. I’m trying to pencil life in between The Kid’s nighttime pronouncements (“Mommy! I love carrots!” “Awesome, sweetie. It’s 2am. I bet they love you, too. Come into bed and snuggle.”) and the blood sugar roller coaster I’ve been stuck on since the steroid shot for my shoulder. I want my money back. It’s a sucky ride. Most of this roller coaster had had me stuck up on the top of the precipice, rocking the seat back and forth, willing the car to drop. (Is the metaphor too much? No? Good.)

That’s what life is all about these days in my house. The CGM incessantly beeps, the test strips get haphazardly dropped on the floor, bread gets stuffed into a mouth without a bolus, toddlers careen around the house using DVDs as footwear, and we roll with it. I do spend a lot of time these days (and nights when I can’t sleep) taking deep breaths and trying to center myself in “the now”. (It’s hard when “the now” involves a small, naked shrieking child who won’t.go.to.bed.)

I have posts in my head that I can’t shake out. Plans to collaborate with good people on great things. Potty-training. (Her, not me.)  It will all happen, but when my diabetes management and my life are not syncing, it’s tough. I want a time-out and someone to give me the words of wisdom I should hear. (And please, no platitudes. I abhor those. And those motivational posters? No. No. No.)

The weird take away from all of this? I’m happy in the chaos, because I’ve always found my greatest ideas come out of these moments. So, I keep on trucking. À la Kid Rock.

Life is messy and unruly. Always. Blood sugars are never perfect. Neither are we.

Diabetes is often a small, naked shrieking child who won’t.go.to.bed. And we just have to roll with it.

Would you like to know my words of wisdom right now that I can share? It’s…

::radio edit::

 

0 comments
  1. Having a kid = the most Joy I’ve ever had, and the most Tired I’ve ever been. A friend of mine shared a post on her FB page the other day about my struggle with wanting another child, and one of her friends with NO CLUE said I was being selfish wanting to potentially risk my life to have another baby. I wanted to slap her through the internet. Having kids is one of the most self-less things I think we can do. Having my little girl and overcoming diabetes to do it is one of my greatest accomplishments to date – I am so proud of me, of the support and love of my husband, and of this beautiful little girl who may one day take on the World. (Well, she sort of already has, but you get it.) The fact that we survive parenthood on top of having diabetes – seriously, let’s go out and buy those Wonder Woman underoos, because we are IT.

  2. The phrase “Someday we’ll look back on all this and plow our car into a tree” comes to mind. Hopefully, that won’t happen. Oh, and I got a steroid shot once, to help an antibiotic work better (it was a bad infection). Three words: Never. Ever. Again. I called my boss and actually used expletives to tell him how effed up I was. Fortunately, he understood and took pity on me.

    Anyway, I hope your life gets simpler soon, and those ideas translate well. Good luck.

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